Problems and Solutions

So, Veterans Day is over.

I attended the local Veterans Day with the VFW Post I belong too. It was inspiring to see Veterans from our Nation’s times of conflict and hard earned time of peace over the last 75 years, together in one place, being recognized by the community for their service and sacrifice.

A choir of children sang.

Local news organizations took photos.

A wreath was placed at a monument.

Everyone there was, with smiling faces, thanking veterans for their service, asking what branch they were in and where they’ve served.

Veterans were gathered in small groups trying to stay out of the way. Talking to each other about moments from their times in service, in the back of their mind remembering those who did not make it home.

All of this “thanks” and “recognition”, yet the problems that veterans deal with daily are still not addressed…VA healthcare, PTSD, homelessness, hunger, suicide.

There is an old adage that goes along the lines of, “Don’t bring problems bring solutions”, or something to that affect.

Call me “lucky” or “blessed” or whatever, the majority of my friends and friends on social media are veterans. The other people are my family (several of them are veterans as well), and the rest are friends of mine prior to my enlistment that have been nothing but supportive of me, while on active duty, deployed and now as a veteran.

Enough thanks can’t be said to friends and family like that.

When a friend you haven’t spoken to in almost 20 years says that you and other veterans are hero’s for what you have done on behalf of America, it causes one to stop short for a speechless second, humbled that people think of you as a “hero”.

I’m no hero.

Though, I know some that I would consider heros.

I’m just the guy who woke up every day and did my job, and now I’m coming to realize weather you were kicking in doors, turning a wrench, sitting in a guard tower, running convoys, or putting ordnance on bad guys… people think you are a hero.

I’m not sure how it is for other veterans, but, my circle of family and friends has always been a support system that is always there when I’ve needed encouagement.

That support system is the first line of defense against potential issues or problems that affect veterans. That is where issues and problems can be identified and addressed the quickest.

Those friends and family that watch over veterans are the greatest help a veteran can have.

People have asked me from time to time about the best way to help veterans. Most folks say something along the lines of, “I bought an Under Armor Wounded Warrior Project shirt,” or “I donated 20 bucks to (pick your organization) at their fundraiser outside Sam’s Club the other day”. While those donations are important, greatly appreciated and needed, the most important thing anyone can do is stay on top of elected leaders in regards to veterans and military issues.

Without sounding politically charged, there should never be an idea, brought before any branch of government, about underfunding the VA to give money to some other organization.

I read a lot on social media about people complaining about the VA, and most of that is probably warranted. But sitting there and bitching about things on social media, waiting for someone else to see what was written and take the reigns and drive that idea home until it’s a law signed by the President, doesn’t fix the problems.

Yellow ribbons won’t fix the problems at the VA.

Replacing one light in your house with a green light bulb doesn’t stop veteran suicide.

It’s going to take time and election cycles to affect the changes that are necessary to rebuild the bureaucratic system that the Veterans Administration has become.

Annoy elected officials with written requests and don’t support them when its campaign time until they are doing all that they can to help veterans. Do what you can in your neighborhood to help local veterans, support the local Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States, Disabled American Veterans, American Legion, just to name a few. By supporting these veteran service organizations, whether financially or as members, you are giving these organizations funds and members that give them the leverage to work in Washington. As the veteran community gets smaller, so does our voice in Washington. We are losing large numbers of World War 2 and Korean War veterans every day.

We as veterans and you as civilians need to do our part and keep our elected officials in line, and when they don’t keep their “promises”… remind them. If worse comes to worst, use our collective voices and remove them from offices.

The struggle continues…

Freedom isn’t free
JS

The great Divide

In an earlier post we talked about civilians and if they can or cannot handle the reality that many of us have faced in the war.

I think we might have jumped the gun… passed go…and gone straight to figurative jail.

Let’s back up a second and look at an interaction between a civilian and a veteran (me).

I was wearing an awesome shirt made by those awesome dudes at After Action Rags, specifically their Camp Buehring shirt the other day as I was purchasing some cold beverages from a local convenience store. The woman behind the counter asked me where Camp Buehring was. I told her it was in Kuwait. She looked at me somewhat puzzled and asked if I had been in the military. Now, her tone wasn’t quiet disrespectful, but on the other hand it wasn’t a pleasant, “Thank you for your service” tone. I told her yes, that I had been in the military. She then proceeds to ask me, with a somewhat skeptical tone, “How long were you in?”

What the crap, woman? Do you need a blood sample too?

I replied that I had been in nine years.

Her next comment was the typical one-upman-ship used by ill-informed civilians in an attempt to make a connection and understand us.

She told me her second ex-husband was a disabled veteran. I looked at her in awe and just said “Yeah…I’m trying be one too.”

She’ll never understand.

I said my goodbyes and went on my way.

As I’m leaving said store I called JS and relayed the whole dialog that just took place. And, like the good bastard he is, he laughed out loud and blasted me for not meeting the expectations of this certain convenience store clerk. We had a good laugh and I began to enjoy my purchased cold beverages.

As the evening went on, my disdain at the earlier encounter continued to bother me, so I posted something to Facebook.

Let me say this, a lot of friends commented to my post as a sign of support, and for that I am very greatful.

But…something else passed through my mind as sat there reading these comments my friends had posted…

I was now that overreacting, whiney-ass veteran that I complain about.

I took offense at something that was said to me, by someone who probably doesn’t have a lot of interaction with veterans of the GOWT.

I had become “That Veteran”.

Damn.

How can I, or why should I get offended by someone who has no idea how to talk to veterans?

This isn’t 1962.

It’s not like every other male is getting drafted, doing their hitch, and getting thrown back into a society that doesn’t want them back.

I’ve heard statistics that say less than half of one percent of the population has served in uniform during operation in Iraq and Afghanistan.

That’s not a lot of people.

While we aren’t rare and exotic creatures to be put on display, some respect needs to be shown to those who have made multiple, I’m talking 5 plus, deployments.

I knew all of these things, as well the most important factoid of them all
… NO ONE REALLY CARES! Yet, I got my poor little feelings hurt.

What we have done as veterans of the war on terror is so foreign to the general population that the even simple act of verbal cummunication has become a strained and difficult task. How can they relate to us when they have no context or perspective?

I’m not saying we, as veterans, need to cater to society, or be understanding about their lack of information…because they never will.

We need to take a stiff up lip approach to these interactions. Take no offense, but take no shit either. Speak the truth and correct the lack of understanding or incorrect information on the spot. The only thing we as veterans need to do is be polite and respectful as possible when in the middle of one of these interactions.

We owe nothing to anyone except to ourselves as an ambassador of the veteran community.

The struggle continues.

Boycotting Veterans Day

I’m not going to lie to and pretend that I’m some kind of up to date news junkie who stays on top of breaking events, that for the most part don’t affect me.
But…I saw a video on facebook about how law makers underfunded the VA, that’s the Veterans Administration for those of you that don’t know, by some ridiculous amount of dollars.

WTF?

Is this how OUR elected leaders honor those who serve and show how they truly “support” and “appreciate” all of the foul and fucked up things WE have endured?

Its not about Republican or Democrat or conservative or liberal or whatever, THEY owe us.

Plain and simple.

WE did their dirty work.

WE did it with low expectations of survival, low standards of living, and a pay scale that is borderline criminal.

Is this the thanks we get?

How about THEY keep their “thanks”, “respect”, and “appreciation” for OUR sacrifice, and start fixing this broke ass system?

A small example of the “thanks”, “respect” and “appreciation” I’ve received in return for my service…

I’ve stuggled with the pain of a tear in my left rotator cuff, an injury that occurred on my last deployment to Iraq, for the last several years. I’ve spent countless hours on the phone and in person, since FEBRUARY, just trying to get an appointment with the VA.

FEBRUARY folks…FEBRUARY!!!

After finally getting ahold of someone, and filling out the required paperwork, they tell me that I cannot be seen until sometime in November, but since it is such a long wait, I qualify for this “new program” called Health Choice or some crap. THEY set me up with a civilian doctor’s office…I use that term loosely because I’m sure there are crack houses that are cleaner than this place…but I digress. This doctor checks my shoulder out and deducts there is obviously a tear and requests an MRI from the VA.

This took place back in August.

Long story short, I receive a call today from Health Choice telling me that the VA has approved my MRI.

Really? Its been nearly 3 months.

I inform the “nice” government phone operator that the request was 3 months ago. She then “explains” to me that I was on a waiting list and now it’s my turn.

I WAS ALREADY ON A WAITING LIST!!!
THAT’S WHY I WAS SENT TO THIS “NEW” VETERANS PROGRAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

This is the “thanks” WE get from THOSE that send US away…to sacrifice OUR youth, all for THEIR freedoms and sense of security.

Oh…you’re veteran? Here…you get 10% off this purchase…and here is a free meal on Veterans Day.

We, as in After Action Rags, are not gonna take part in any of the “free” veterans day activities. Not because we think that these companies are not sincere in their appreciation of veterans, but as a whole the very holiday, that was legislated by our elected government is a huge “fuck you” to our community. THEY say “thanks” to our face, but in Washington THEY sell us short… you…me… Mike the Vietnam vet with cancer as a direct result of Agent Orange…or Scott the Gulf War vet who was exposed to toxic levels of Sarin gas while serving in Iraq in 1991 and has been battling to get the recognition that his illness justly deserves.

This is where we are as a nation.

If you feel inclined, go get that free burger from Applebee’s or Chili’s, please do so…you’ve earned it…but for me and mine…

The struggle continues…

FREEDOM ISN’T FREE-JS

That Veteran

How do we as the veteran community deal with “that veteran”? You know the one I’m talking about. That’s right, that one…the chode. The one that when they open their mouth it causes immediate mental anguish and a strong desire to cause bodily harm to them or the closest hipster.

What level of accountability should we impose on each other? Should we, as veterans, even keep each other accountable, or just let ourselves run wild and free?

There was an incident not too long ago in my local area where a veteran had some interaction with two young men that attended the same school as this veteran. This veteran had a service dog and had been waiting in a public area where numerous people attempted to make contact with the service dog.

I’ll say this, when people see a service dog, a dog that’s out in public and is acting as well behaved as service dogs are trained, they’re kind of a big deal.

But…back to the story.

After these numerous attempts by passer-byers to touch said service dog, two men walk by and attempt to make contact with the above mentioned pooch.

Now, I was not there, and all I know is what I read.

In the beginning of the story, one of the two men began cussing out the disabled veteran after trying to play with the service dog. That disabled veteran took to social media and started to blast these two men by name on facebook and other service dog social sites.

Things took off like a wild fire from there.

The university immediately got involved and said they were going to look into the “accusations” made by said disabled veteran. These two men were involved with one of the schools largest and most well know extracurricular activities
and the athletic department was going to take care of this.

As it turned out, all the above mentioned disabled veteran wanted was a public apology from the two men.

Things were looking pretty bleak for those two young athletes.

As is the norm now a days, more info started coming out later in the day.

Uh oh….maybe it didn’t happen exactly the way the disabled veteran said it did.

According to the “eye witness” accounts, the initial accusations couldn’t have been further from the truth. These witnesses told a different story, one where the poor, weak, disabled veteran made a “scene” because these two men tried to pet her dog. These same witnesses also said that the athletes tried to apologize for their actions, but this enraged veteran wasn’t having it.

Was it the recollection of the “victim” that was wrong, or how it actually “happened”?

Now, to be fair, JS and I aren’t the most compassionate of folks and add to that our skepticism and general distrust of people, you have two mean bastards.

At the beginning of this shit storm everyone took the side of the disabled veteran.

Why?

Just because someone is a veteran doesn’t mean that everything they do will be right, or well received by the general population.

That’s a fact.

People took her side because they felt “sorry” for her. But, in my opinion, she bears a certain amount of responsibility being out and about with her service dog. That service dog is just the same as wearing your disability on your sleeve. If it’s there for the world to see, expect some funny looks or rude comments. Don’t pity her.

We as veterans have been told from the beginning of our military careers that we are held to a higher standard and are also accountable for our individual actions. Now, I’m not trying to take away from this veteran’s experiences or disability, all I’m saying is she knew better…or should have.

Just because you raised your right hand, took an oath, and went off and did whatever it was you did for mom and dad, apple pie, Uncle Sam, or any of that other shit people join the military for, does not give you the right or privilege to act like a jack ass whenever you open your suck hole.

You represent me, JS, and a host of other fine Americans, some of which have paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Freedom isn’t free.

It was…is…and will continue to be paid for by those who have or will pay with their lives. Know your place and shut your mouth.

Maybe I’m wrong for not taking up for these poor disabled veterans. Maybe I’m in the wrong for thinking and feeling that the manner in which I express myself isn’t a free pass to act ridiculous. Maybe there is something wrong with me because I don’t want the general population to think of all veterans as psycho PTSD riddled shells of our former selfs. Maybe the world has gone and done a 180 on me and I’m now living in the twilight zone.

The struggle continues…

JS

The Struggle…and work pt.1

I was sitting at work yesterday afternoon waiting for the big hand to hit twelve and the little hand to hit five so l could get out of there in a quickness. Now, I’ll preface this by saying that I have one of the most unimportant jobs on the planet.

That’s the truth, Truth!!

But from time to time, I find myself on call for a week at a time. Sometimes two weeks at a time, but whatever.

My boss asked me what I had planned this weekend, I told him my birthday party and a funeral of a friend who had been killed overseas were on Saturday. He asked me what I was going to do.

Seriouly, did this no good civilian dick face just ask me what I was going to do?

I looked at him as if he had third testicle growing out of his forehead and told him I was going to be sitting at the house BECAUSE I WAS ON CALL!!!

What was I going to do… seriously!?!?

All of this took place in the common area at work ,and every person I work with was sitting in there.

Did anyone offer to work? Hell no.

They just sat there and looked at me like I was trying to get out of work.

At first I didn’t care, but as time went on and now that I’m sitting here beating this keyboards ass, I CARE!

I could be celebrating my friends life with the guys we worked with and I’m not at my birthday party because I’m stuck in town being on call.

This is part my struggle.

Have I not missed enough things in my life to catch a break? I’m not going to list all of things I’ve missed because someone out there from our community has missed more.

Just wanted to word vomit on the Internet and get this of my chest.

Work sucks and freedom isn’t free.

The struggle continues…

JS.

Can they handle the truth?

How do you talk to civilians about the war?

Have you gotten to the point where you tell them the truth, or do you just tell them what they “think” they want to hear?

Do they want to know for real or are they just trying to be polite?

Or is there a kind of deep seated curiosity that gives them some sort of an attachment to the war, without having to actually go…fight….win…..?

There is a short story written by Ernest Hemingway titled “Soldier’s Home” that may bring some insight to this struggle.

JS and I continually talk of the struggle, and one aspect of OUR struggle is verbally interacting with civilians about the war. There’s no telling how each veteran/civilian interaction on this topic will go. The mood, tone, and whatever the initial subject will set the baseline and should give you an idea how the conversation will go and what approach to take.

The topics will only be limited by the imagination of that specific civilian you are interacting with. The sky is the limit!

Some veterans don’t like to talk about the war.

Some veterans love to talk about the war.

No matter if you like or dislike talking about your experiences, you must be careful and not talk too much about things that may not need to be shared with certain members of the population, simply because they lack the proper context and perspective. To these types of civilians, war is something that is experienced through books, movies, video games, the news, and youtube.

I mean, sure you might run into someone who tells you about their daughter’s boyfriend’s cousin’s boyfriend, who is an interpreter in the Marine Corps and was stationed in Kuwait and “they” were trying to kill him every day.

True story.

How do you handle these situations?

This person obviously has no context, and the best option for the conversation is to break contact. They don’t…or won’t get it.

What do you say to the person who is using the experience of someone they have NEVER meet, to some how let you know they “get it” and “understand” what you have been through, all with just a little bit of “one-upman-ship” to let you know that your shit is weak?

To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that woman when she ran down the list of people to get to someone who probably didn’t have the same experiences as me.

As I regrouped from the hundreds of degrading responses burning through my brain, I just looked at her and said, “Uh…yeah”.

The last people I talked to about the war asked how bad it was. I said that there were things that sucked, but doing my job and having the tremendous amount of responsibility that I had was something that changed me for EVER.
I then went on to tell them that they could never know the true freedom that comes with driving down the road, holding on to some sort of machine gun in the turret of an armored vehicle, running cars off the road, shooting at people that get in your way or fail to follow your hand/weapon/thrown water bottle gestures, as a member of the occupying force.

That’s OUR feeling.

She looked at me with a somewhat shocked, and possibly disgusted expression while her husband shook his head north and south like he understood.

All I used to tell people was that Iraq was “hot and it sucked”. I’ve come to realize that all I did was sell my experiences short.

To be true to myself, I HAVE to tell these people the truth, even if that means telling them things that take them out of their comfort zone; and for a short second, puts them in our shoes and allows a slight perspective of what we have been through, and as they say, the truth shall set you free!

The truth allows them to know the decisions and choices that we, veterans of war, had to make at an age that current society would still consider children. We’ve sacrificed our youth defending the freedoms that we hold close. And because of that, we carry a large burden of responsibility, both real and imagined.

That book I mentioned earlier by Hemingway has as the main character, Harold Krebs, from middle America Kansas, who joins the Marine Corps in 1917 and fights in most of the major campaigns that American forces were engaged in during World War I. Krebs doesn’t end up coming home until some time in 1919, (the first World War ended on 11Nov18), after all of the parades and welcome home celebrations. Everyone had heard all about the war by the time he get backs and all they want to know is why it took him so long to get home and get out of the service.

They think his experiences are the same as every other dough boy that came home from the war. Wrong!!!

That is Krebs’ struggle.

The war in Afghanistan is winding down. There has been constant combat for the U.S. military for nearly 14 consecutive years, and for many of those 14 years, we have been engaged in 2 theater of operations simultaneously. Let’s not forget about all of the “other things” going on in those other “scary places” around the globe.

Krebs’ struggle is the same as ours. How do you communicate with civilians about the war? Sadly, there is no “perfect” answer to this problem.

Share your experiences because they are what defines you. Don’t lie…or emblish. Be proud of your service, most could not do what you’ve done.

Read the story by Hemingway, Soldier’s Home. You might see that story referenced again.

This might not be your struggle today, but it might be next week, and it could be something your buddy is dealing with at this very moment. We have got to check each others “six”.

The struggle continues…

How it all came about

The Struggle is not new.

It has been in existence since man first left his homeland to go to someone else’s homeland and fight. When that man finally returned to his homeland, his struggle was just beginning. Whether victorious or defeated there was still struggle. The “reinterigation” into the “normal” society that one left long ago.

This is our struggle. There are many like it but this one is ours.

JS and I had been talking about doing a blog for awhile, but this is the moment that we decided to go for it….

I was sitting in a chain wing restaurant that has lots of TV’S and can get kind of “wild”. I was enjoying the sensory overload of sports in every direction and the parmesan garlic and original wing flavor boneless wings. The potato wedges just set the mood to perfect.

I saw a guy walk in. Is there someone you have spent a lot of time with, and you just know, by the way they walk and by the way they move who they are?

That’s why you’re reading this.

I yelled this dudes name…..”Chad!”

He kind of paused for a split second but kept walking. I yelled his name again, “Chad!!”

He turned around.

I started walking to him and he didn’t recognize me at first, but the last time I saw him was in June 2009 before he PCS’ed and we deployed. He recognized me, we did the bro hug, and he called me a big bastard.  I was eating with the family and didn’t even think to invite him to sit down with us and catch up.

He said he was on a lunch break and had to get back to work, so we said good-bye and good to see each other.

He went on his way, and I sat back down with the family and we finished eating. The family and I had driven separately so they left and I went to go catch up with Chad.

He also paid for our meal. Thanks Chad!

I sat with him as he finished eating, and we got caught up on what we had been doing since we last saw each other. Once we had gotten each other updated, the conversation turned to work. It’s always interesting when veterans speak about some of the asinine things that can happen in the civilian work place.

Caveat…. JS and I have been in the civilian work force for 3 and 6 years respectfully. So we have a little more insight than Chad.

The conversation quickly turned to how any day you don’t go to prison because of some dumb ass that you work with , is actually a very productive day.

Welcome to the struggle Chad!!!

We remember those times when things sucked. The long hours, separation from loved ones, lack of food, lack of sleep, and that constant exposure to things that at any moment could make you a wicked pink/red messy mist.
Shot dead, IED’ed or just walking around and have an incredibly large explosive device fall out of the sky on you.

Game over.

But you somehow miraculously survived that on MULTIPLE deployments.

Welcome home!!!

No one cares.

No one cares what you did or where you’ve been. It’s almost like all of that time, effort, and sacrifice never actually happened.

Those that know and care about you show you the respect you’ve earned, and they are proud to know you. They care deeply about you and your physical and mental wellbeing.

But to others, you are just some bum who gets a “free” education and a monthly check from the VA.

Yes these are things that have ACTUALLY been said to us…

This is your new war.
But you can’t fight this one the way you fought the last one. They frown on shooting civilians in the face…..unfortunately.

It almost seems like we’re fighting a losing battle behind enemy lines.

This is the struggle.

We don’t have answers or solutions because each interaction is going to be just a little different from the last.

There are no perfect answers or solutions. There is only reciprocity.

There will never be a complete and victorious “reintegration”.

Choose your battles wisely.

Always keep fighting and never give up.

Remember that your struggle may not be the same struggle as your buddy. Watch out for each other.

This is just us expressing our struggles.

The struggle continues…

JS